Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin... - Zechariah 4.10
Though it is the smallest of all seeds, yet when it grows, it is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds come and perch in its branches. -Matthew 13:32
Here is a boy with five small barley loaves and two small fish, but how far will they go among so many? -John 6:9
I think that there are two types of people: the folks who do not dream big enough and those who cannot see the bigness of small things.
I fall into the second category.
As long as I can remember, my desire was to "make it big," "do it all," "change the world," and "be all that I can be" in the little time I had on the planet. My heart was a giant, impatient exclamation point- always waiting for a grand finale.
"Seize the day!"
"Leave your mark!"
The above words are fuel propelling us forward with impressive force. When we are young, especially, we have this hunger for making an impact that drives us towards ambitions that sensible adults tend to break down into the "impossible" category. Motivational messages inspire us and provide us with a positive purpose. For we are indeed capable of great things.
I devoured the ideals of "thinking big" and "expecting great things" to such a degree, though, that I was often disappointed by less than extraordinary outcomes. If you're not noticed enough or it takes too long to see results, the problem of doubt arises. We get confused by what we see, because it doesn't match up with our idea of "big." That's when I would lose steam, lose inspiration, lose my way.
For me, motherhood, has been the experience that sent me into spirals of more question marks than exclamation points. But it's okay. To be curious, to wonder, and to not know it all, means that we are receptive to Truth when it is revealed to us. I have learned so much about being humble, grounded, and discerning. I value the circumstances that brought me understanding and realize that my unseen acts of service matter.
Constantly, I have to remind myself of the real things happening right in front of my face, because they are rarely what I expect to be awe-inspiring. But the little details are all part of a bigger picture that just isn't finished yet- the snuggles, struggles, conversations, meetings, sacrifices, milestones, memories, efforts, prayers, late nights, early mornings, habits, schedules, successes, and failures. It all can be big things to someone.
Is it so small to write a letter of appreciation to someone?
Is it too a tiny feat to take care of a sick child through the night?
Is it insignificant to make time to help or meet with a friend?
If I will just start;
If I will believe that it's all important;
If I will do the small, God will do the "big."